i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
