I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
