where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
