i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
