how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
