I need help removing her.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
He passed out mid-signature
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
