there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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