So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
