You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
