Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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