Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
God I need to hump something, right now.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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