Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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