Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
