pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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