It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
