dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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