haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
