I didn't shave. On purpose
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
