The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i just google imaged poop.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize