He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
