Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
