I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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