Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
