What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
