There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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