Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize