I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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