i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
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