It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Randomize
