You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
