i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
