I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
