just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
