I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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