The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
