How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Drake has all the answers
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
