You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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