I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
