I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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