CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
In America we eat man semen.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
