Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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