I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
