what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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