look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
