Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
