you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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