i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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