Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
