I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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