found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
