Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
