Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
