So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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