Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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