I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
