I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize