Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
