I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
