so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
A+ Viking dick
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
