I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
