We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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