i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
