I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
