Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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