I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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