4 words: hood of his car
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
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