...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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