I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
