i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
