You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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